What is Coaching? How can it help me and or my child?
I feel it best to let the experience of my client, speak for itself.
"Letter about Racquel, good friend, coach, and an OG "tree" person.
While my name isn’t present, the good things in my life are. At first I was a bit skeptical of Racquel’s coaching, I thought she was trying to “fix” me, but she didn’t.
It’s never her goal to “fix” people into a set belief or idea. Instead she empowers people to bring balance into their own lives without tolerance for bulls***, for a good reason.
In my life specifically, she’s helped me be strong enough to fight all of the frickin' obstacles that seem to befall me. I’m a weird mixture part preppy kid upon the hill and a "tree" kid who breaks rules because I hate them.
As a student, I put huge amounts of pressure on being perfect to prove the haters wrong. But what was really driving me was my fear of being homeless again, which manifested into a need for perfection in academic performance. Literally my week was homework because of all the AP classes I was taking and clubs; NHS, GHS, FBLA, Tri-M, NAHS, Link Crew, a musical, and Girl Scouts). Hanging out with friends vaping and smoking cigs as the only way to distress in my life. On top of academics I had family s***, relationship s***, and other problems. I guess I survived just stacking those bricks, but I wasn’t living. When I got caught vaping at school, all of those bricks started to crash down. I was scared because I thought my dreams were unreachable. I was insecure because now all those pricks in my AP classes who thought they were better than me, ‘cause they didn’t need extended time or smelled like vape juice were “finally proven right”. And, I was scared of losing my friends. In fact, I did lose many throughout the year because their true selves revealed to be terrible and mean. I was more afraid of being forced to lose my true and real friends. You know, the ones who have helped me through so much of the shenanigans I had been through. Racquel helped me navigate my anxious mind with her anti- bullcrap, twinge of kindness but a lot of love approach. She would ride my a** if I tried giving up on myself. With her support I graduated high school with good grades, was accepted into the colleges of my choice, and even got some scholarships. AND, I still have my real friends which I am so happy about.
Even with all those bricks leaving my shoulders, I got another huge boulder smashed into my head. I had just got out of my brief depression and everything, and it's kinda funny how life gets so crappy sometimes. Within a day I found myself feeling violated, betrayed, and hurt when I was sexually assaulted. Then the trauma continued. I felt guilty, confused, hurt, grief stricken, and alone when one of my closest friends committed suicide on the phone, after I begged him to stay. Maybe the dark humor is the fact that I finished watching Bird Box twenty minutes before knowing that would make my friend smile, cause now he’s in a better place. We had a completely non-judgemental dark humor when we talked. I guess we found it cathartic. I was devastated when he died and I’m still grieving. Racquel was my rock the week of those events and still is. She went with me to the funeral because to be honest, I would have been too afraid to do it alone. She gave me the love and understanding that I needed. She still does.
Now I go to her HardBeauty Hope Group for youth when I can. It’s amazing to just be with other people my age while emotionally supporting each other and creating new relationships. Then we started doing projects with Robbie’s Hope and SADD like the Hope Run to raise support and awareness for suicide prevention. It made me feel a little bit better running (mostly walking) listening to Slipknot, Lil Peep, Coheed and Cambria, knowing that what I was doing was going to help others like my friend, or others who are depressed like me or suicidal like he was. It made me feel like he was looking down on me and smiling. If it wasn’t for Racquel I wouldn’t have that group. I wouldn’t have the resources to help myself. I probs wouldn’t have made it through this year. Trust me this isn’t even half of the story of this year. It’s just the most vulnerable moments I’ve had and she helped me from losing myself and my goals. " I am so humbled by the young lady's words and bravery. She has come so far!
I love coaching and being coached. Actually, I have 2 business coaches that I work with. I was a counselor and moved into coaching because I have seen it work beautifully for my son. His time with Thomas was worth every penny. I'm pretty gifted with teenagers and young people but at the end of the day, I am just his mom, not his coach. We have a great relationship but every now and then he still hears, "wa-wa-wa-wa", like every other kid does with their parent. Like I did with mine. Sometimes they need to hear a new voice to help them recognize their own. Having the right tools in place WHEN life hits you is everything. Tools help you mend your boat when a wave crashes unexpectedly. We can't control the waves we are only responsible for the boat. Now your boat might take a little dip and rock a bit but it won't sink. Does that make sense?
Coaching is talking for the sake of doing. Coaching is NOT therapy. It CAN help with so many "things" for those willing to do the work. As a coach I help you, help yourself. We can focus on internal or external goals be it, self-confidence, self-determination, emotional intelligence, self-awareness, meaning, purpose, academics, career, trauma, addiction, accountability and more. It's not a one size fits all approach. If we match great, but if we don't then honestly, no harm. Please find a coach that fits you or the young person in your life. I may be able to offer you a referral.
HardBeauty Hope group is always a FREE support group for youth and young adults ages (14-20). We meet from 6:30pm-8:30pm on the 1st and 3rd Friday of the month, even during the summer in the basement at Little Log Church in Palmer Lake, CO. Please feel free to contact me with ANY questions you may have.
"I see you greater than you see yourself”
Master Life Coach