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Seven things necessary for success that are not taught in school or most homes


7 Things Necessary for Success That Aren't Taught in School…or in most homes. 

Schools are great for some things, but not so great for others. You can learn algebra, chemistry, and how to swing from a rope, but how often do you use those skills in your daily life as an adult?

The things that matter the most for success as an adult are never directly taught in school and not in most homes. They weren’t in mine. 

In my home I learned how to cook amazingly, love with abundance, serve others, work hard, worry, avoid hard conversations, people-please, yell, lie and use substances. I am sober now, don’t freak out.

No, I am not shaming my folks. I LOVE and RESPECT my parents. They did the best they could with what they had. I was an emotional, American teenager born to a French, farm raised mother and a black father who was raised in the segregated south of Texas.  Believe me, they provided for my sister and I far greater than their parents did.  That was the point! 

The difference for us as parents today, is that we understand it’s not necessarily about providing greater houses, cars, ivy league schools and vacations than our parents did. It’s about BECOMING better not simply HAVING better. 

As a Youth Coach, substance abuse counselor, parent of 4 kids, 2 foster kids and 6 god-children. I have found that the greatest gift I can give my clients and kids are my failures. Yup…I said it, my failures.  I mean finding out what I needed to learn and what was missing was the first step.  The 2nd step was finding someone to work with to gain the skills that I needed to show and teach and where I felt I wasn’t a good teacher, I found someone else to step in. I mean I hired an emotional intelligence coach for my son because he wasn’t going to receive the info very well from his mother. 

Where do you need to improve to be an even greater parent?  Which of the 7 skills below do you need yourself and which ones do your children need?

I encourage you to practice these skills for success to learn what school and possibly home never taught you. Then directly talk with your children, even if they are grown about what they think they need:

    1. Persistence. One of the hallmark attributes of successful people is persistence. Whenever you attempt to do something difficult, it’s unlikely that you’re going to be successful right out of the gate. Persistence is a necessary trait to possess if you’re going to be a highly successful person.

    2. Consistency. Do you maintain the same goals until they’re achieved, or do you keep changing your mind? Can you perform the same boring, but effective, tasks day after day? Can you maintain a positive attitude? How consistent are you with your behavior, beliefs, and goals?

    3. Daily Work. Are you doing something every single day to become more successful? You can be amazingly successful with a relatively small amount of work performed each and every day. This can be more effective than doing massive amounts of work irregularly.

  • In school, it’s too easy to wait until the last minute to study or write a paper. Intelligent people can get away with this in school. However, this strategy won't work in the long term out in the real world no matter how intelligent you might be.

    4. How to Deal With Discomfort. Your ability to deal with discomfort is one of the best predictors of the level of success you will achieve in the future. Acting in spite of discomfort is what allows you to go to the gym when you don't feel like it. It allows you to take action when you’d rather do nothing. 

    5. How to Deal With Failure. Life is full of failure. Successful people have an effective strategy for dealing with failure. They learn from failure, improve their approach, and try again. Overcoming failure requires persistence, consistency, and dealing with discomfort. 

    6. How to Make Good Decisions. Few of us consistently make great choices. Most of us make choices based on emotion rather than reality. We rarely make the best choice. We simply make a choice that is psychologically comfortable. This goes back to being able to deal with discomfort effectively.

    7. How to Think Long-Term. A long-term perspective is necessary for long-term success. Most of us are too focused on living day-to-day to have a long-term plan. If you spend your time putting out fires each day, you're never working toward anything over the long haul.

You might have had some failure in school or in the world, but no one sat down and told you how to overcome it. You either figured it out yourself or you didn’t. You may have felt uncomfortable in school, but that doesn’t mean you learned how to deal with it effectively.

Surviving isn’t the same as thriving. Take on the responsibility of learning the things that matter in the pursuit of success. Then BECOME those things so they can reflect in your children. If you need support, reach out. No one else is going to do it for you.

~Racquel Garcia,


  1. Thank You Racquel beautifuly written and easy to understand! What stayed with me was “surviving isn’t the same as thriving”

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